addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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