okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
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WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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