I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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