Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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