i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
