You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
