This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
