I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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