What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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