This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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