you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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