So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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