he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
