Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize