ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
