her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
