I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
