I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
