I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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