I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
