Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Never underestimate the power of titties
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
