What a fucking waste of an outfit
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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