you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
