Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
