I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Rumble strips road head = magical
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
