i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
