you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
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