I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
