And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
