come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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