I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
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I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
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Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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