We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I would ride that face into the sunset
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
