whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
