i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
