I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
