I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
