i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
