will power is for people who don't want to get laid
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
