Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
