My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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