Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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