Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
