Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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