The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
