Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
