I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
