I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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