I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
