I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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