I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
