What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
