Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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