my mouth tastes like poor choices
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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