Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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