Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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