I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.