party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...