Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
