Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
