Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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