there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
