no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize