Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
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Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
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No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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