After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
